All's well that ends well.
Remember when I used to have a blog and I wrote things in it a couple times a week and didn’t let like 4 months go by without even opening up this page? Yeah, me neither. But since I’m blogging nearly every 4 months now for some reason, I guess it’s about time for my winter entry.
So we all made it around the sun once again. Another year has passed. How was your 2008? I’m hearing from a bunch of friends that this past year was a bust and they’re just going to forget it and skip ahead to 2009. I feel so bad for the crap that some of my friends have gone through this last year. And I've had a lot of crap too, but I guess, all-in-all, it wasn't so bad. In fact it's shaping up pretty well in the end.
In years past, I've summed up the year with surveys and memes, answering questions about my year (2006 and 2007). But this time, I'm just going to write. I haven't done any real writing in 4 months, so instead of a questionnaire, I'll just type.
So 2008 started off great in Mexico where I slept every night outside in a hammock. Man, I'm dying for that right now. From then on, the rest of the year can be summed up in the word "busy". By which I mean "hectic" and "insane". Several months in the year I volunteered 50 hours a month to an education work, on top of working full-time and having side jobs. Then toward the start of the year, I was finally reappointed as a servant which was great but being one of the 3 servants at our hall means I have at least one part every week and sometimes 2 or 3. And I'm in charge of accounts and literature. So that's all many extra hours on the plate. Plus I'm slowly starting to prepare my first half-hour public discourse that I'll be giving on February 15th. So that's been weighing on my mind. I used to have a night or two a week where I had nothing to do and I would just watch tv, but in 2008, there was barely a single night in the whole year where I could stay home and do nothing. But I'm ok with that. Things I needed to do all got done and I got to spend a lot of time going out every night with friends, growing closer and being there for each other through hard times.
What "hard times"? Well, 2008 saw 6 of my friends get disfellowshiped and a few reproved. It's hard for me to ever lose friends. I'm sure they'll be back, but it's really difficult to get through things like this since a couple of them had become really close friends. A few of us started a weekly 'family' study of friends just to keep each other strong because of these problems. But it still really hurts to lose them and worries me about losing any more.
But I guess the upside of that was the fact that even though a few are gone for now, 2008 was really a turn-around year in my relationships with guy friends. I grew really close with a bunch of guys that just made it feel really easy. There's none of the typical competition and showing off. It's just comfortable, close friendships that I've always had with a few girls but never really felt in any particular guys until now. Now I have people to call up nightly and just hang out with and there's no pressure. That's such a relief, let me tell you.
That great growth in guy-friendships might be due to the fact that in 2008 I decided to pare down a lot of my friendships and just focus on the ones that were interested in being good friends with me -- not trying to expend the energy necessary to maintain mountains of surface friendships. That was a tough call to make and I still hope no one felt hurt, but I appreciated the support from all of you in that decision.
And that relates to the only real problem I had personally this year, which was trying and failing to maintain a friendship with my roommate. The stress of arguing and worrying and being angry and going to the elders a few times even put me in the hospital for a bit with stress-related stomach trouble. And now it's been 6 weeks since he's said a word to me. So I'm done making all the effort and getting nothing. I can't deal with this for another year, so we're moving out March 1st.
But again, the flipside is that this completely failed friendship has made me stop and consider things, as it should. Am I hard to get along with? Am I doing things that make me deserve to be ignored or treated rudely? Am I a bad friend to people? Am I too demanding in what I expect from a friendship? I had to stop and examine myself and my interactions because I'm an analytical person like that. So help me if you have your own opinions, but my conclusion was that I'm pretty sure I'm an incredibly easy person to get along with. All it takes to be my friend is that you talk to me and do stuff with me. I'm entirely that easy. You talk with me and whatever irked me is completely forgotten. Sure, if you ignore me and my many attempts at friendship for weeks, we're going to have problems. But I can't think of any other relationship I have where that's the case. There's nobody out there that I don't like or relate to, no matter what clique or personality or spiritual and moral level or race or interest or gender... I probably like you and can be chummy with no problems. I've always been that way with everyone I know. My previous roommate and I got along great. I don't know of anyone else that hates me and I have no problems with anyone else. So I'm willing to accept things are not as I see them, but without any other information, I don't know what I could have done differently or even what the problem is. I just have to conclude that rooming with young kids that are just figuring out how to interact with other people for the first time is not a good idea. They need some time to grow up.
So now, if he's walking away for some reason, I guess I can be ok with that because I don't think there's anything else I can do and it wasn't really about me. It still made for some really incredibly miserable spots this year, just being a constant aggrivation of living with someone who hates you for no reason and not wanting to come home to your own house. But instead of getting down about it, I actually had something that brightened each and every single day for me.
And that was meeting Shareece.
In August we were introduced at a Packer game and after talking for a bit, it was the first time in my life that I felt I needed to get this girl's number. I am really not that guy that goes around asking for numbers, ever before. But everything just clicked and felt natural and exciting and blissful. We've talked almost every day since then. And no matter what was worrying or angering me, it seemed to melt away and I felt strong. Because of her, 2008 was one of my favorite years, hands down. I expect another fantastic year just because she's in my life. And I could go on, but no one but us would want to read mushy, pet-named, effusion of sappy feelings, so I'll just say that she made my year happy and drama-free where it would have been awful without her. And thanks to all of the rest of you as well for hanging in there with me when I was down or stressed or busy and being awesome friends when things were up and wild and crazy fun as well! I'm sure 2009 will be great for all of us!
Posted by heydomsar
2009-01-07
go back | random brainstorm | go forth
Rachel Ray - 2009-05-03
The cold wind was the reason - 2009-03-02
The Collected Wisdom of Angela Chase - 2009-02-15
All's well that ends well. - 2009-01-07
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. - 2008-10-04
