The cold wind was the reason
The cold wind was the only reason, I promise.�
Even though each memory I packed in boxes tore me two ways
And your every cold look stung like failure
That wasn’t the reason, I swear.
It wasn’t the sight of our home growing emptier
As the last shred of anything we shared was gone
It wasn’t that.
Or how we spent the day scrubbing away pieces of our lives
In silence
I was used to that.
It wasn’t the finality of your extended handshake
As we spoke our last words
And walked away from each other forever.
That’s not why my eyes were wet.
The cold wind was the only reason, I promise.
What else could it have been?
I wanted to say, “I’m sorry” but I didn’t know what to be sorry for
And I was hoping to look you in the eyes for a goodbye
But I couldn’t see through mine.
…because of the cold wind, I promise.
I think you’re handshake meant “no hard feelings, ok?”
Or “have a good life” or “let’s be civil about this”
But all I felt was failure, the end.
…and the cold wind blowing.
Which didn’t help me get through such a hard day
Or fix these problems we put between us
Or make me forget the good times.
It only shortened our breath and our comments
In a hurry to leave the cold, find another life
And forget these two years like they didn’t hurt every moment.
If only I knew how to not care
And ignore that I couldn’t make it work
Letting myself down with every unspoken scream
That would have guarded me from the sting
And kept my eyes dry
Against the cold wind.
But later when the wind died down
And everything settled separately
The years a waste and friendship lost for good
…what was the excuse for my eyes then?
Posted by heydomsar
2009-03-02
go back | random brainstorm | go forth
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