In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Summer? Remember all that commotion? Remember the years and years worth of life you squished so frantically into three short months? Remember how it zipped by so startlingly fast that you can barely remember it happening at all? But suddenly the chill of fall is pounding down the door and punching me in the face like a lover scorned. And I don't know why I betrayed you, sweet fall breeze. I didn't mean it when I said summer heat was my favorite… I realize now how mistaken I was. This is the time of my life. This, now… this.
I love the way autumn feels. Its foreboding of winter storms is ominous and eerily calming. The chill makes me bundle in blankets and socks… and there's no way to feel more comfortable than that. Something about the sky makes me want to write. It didn't happen all summer long. The sky never spoke to me. And I never wrote back. But now I'm spilling my soul into emails to friends asking me about the weekend. Yes, my weekend was full and hearty. It took my breath away like I had just exhaled my last mouthful and then burst me through the crest of a wave to rejoin the oxygen. I'm living in dreams and colors so vivid I will never be let down from the clouds. Is that what you wanted to know about my weekend? Oh. I'm glad yours "rocked" too. lol. zomg. bff bbq!!1!
I've neglected this space for a few months and I'd like to change that if I can. I feel like I'm twice as busy as I've ever been in my life, but I think I'm doing twice as well also. And I'm not sure what I mean by that. I don't feel any kind of success but I feel progress. And that's important. There's a thing or two going on that weighs on my mind and makes me miserable, but in the misery there's an encroaching joy that refuses to be restrained. I owe that unboundless joy to things I plan on remembering when I'm away from this screen. I could list them out here but it feels cheapened and I'm using the backspace to save me from putting into words some things that can't be quantified or enumerated with bullet points.
And while the trees retreat and hide like the ending of a busy year, I somehow feel a new beginning. I'm ready to make a major change. The summer brought a gapless streaming inundation of action and events, but it was also an ending. A couple friendships failed me and had to be dropped for my own sanity; but that ending has been helpful. I no longer feel used and taken advantage of. I can focus on the rest that are upbuilding and forget about ones that tear down. I have to thank you dear readers for your support and encouragement to take that helpful but difficult step.
Summer melted into autumn this week. But the cycle of seasons is not a circle, it's a spiral. Back where we started, but ever-progresssing into something bigger and farther from where we've been. And I'm spiraling outward into the great unknown. But I'm glad to have you guys spiraling with me.
Posted by heydomsar
2008-10-04
go back | random brainstorm | go forth
Rachel Ray - 2009-05-03
The cold wind was the reason - 2009-03-02
The Collected Wisdom of Angela Chase - 2009-02-15
All's well that ends well. - 2009-01-07
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. - 2008-10-04
