psue psue psuedio-intellectualism
So I just licked a little piece of something off the end of my spoon and I'm not entirely sure it was from my bowl of ice cream and not hanging on from some previous meal, having made it through my dishwashing because, let's face it, I'm not that thouroughly clean, I'm a guy. And yes, that's as interesting as this entry is going to get. I'd try to say something deep but it will end up coming out even more psuedo-intellectual than my normally psuedo-intellectual ramblings, which is not very intellectual and leaning more towards the psuedo side. And I don't actually like that. I had a friend who would always want to talk about stupid things that sounded deep but had no actual bearing on Life As We Know It (LAWKI). I swear, one of the actual questions he asked me at one point was "If there were 8 foot penguins, what color do you think would they be?" And then he whines about me refusing to answer his stupid questions. Sure maybe I was being shy or noncommunicative at the time - yes I do that around some people - but if this is your attempt at getting me to talk, how sad for you because then you have to talk about the color of 8 foot penguins with me. Which I keep spelling penquins and backspacing for some reason.
What was I saying? Nevermind. Not important. Oh right, pseudo-intellectuality. No, the thing about me being quiet around some people, I wanna say that I hate that. Why do I do that? I think if I could figure that part out I will have figured a major piece of me out that will majorly help me out in a major piece of my life. Got that? Because there are some people, that I feel very at home with. Comfortable. I do at least 50 percent of the talking in these conversations. Sure, I'm still not usually talking about me or myself because I almost never do (except for webpages) but I'm asking questions and interrupting (which I love to do - even to myself (and my tangents)) and saying things like "yeah" and "what?" because those seem to spur on more conversation between me and the person I can easily converse with, let's call him "Bob". So I can converse with Bob (and don't you dare say "conversate" because I will slap you upside the head) but I can't converse with other people, let's call them Joe. And the problem is, I can't tell the difference between Bob and Joe. Sometimes I know Joe as well as I know Bob and maybe I even grew up with Joe. Joe is no more smart or good looking or wealthy than Bob, why do I feel all insecure and quiet around Joe?
And you might be thinking, "Ahem, what?" And your brain clears it's throat. "I know you and you are not insecure and quiet." If that's what you were thinking, then you are Bob. I can easily talk to you and around you. If you were Joe, you would know that sometimes I have nothing to say or I have things to say but don't feel comfortable opening my mouth or I try and feel stupid. And I hate that feeling. I really love the me that I am around Bob. And he wants to slap the me that I am around Joe and say, "Be me!" but he can't and he doesn't know why.
And thus concludes the psuedo-intellectuality portion of today's show. See I told you I would be even more psuedo than usual.
Posted by heydomsar
2004-07-13
go back | random brainstorm | go forth
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