Works for Number 2 also...
So I finally discovered the shopping method that actually works for me. It may in fact be a life lesson that I can apply to every situation, I'll have to try it and see.
I call it "Shopping on a full bladder."
Guys, it's beautiful.
It solves a lot of problems I, and probably other guys, face when shopping. For instance, I walked through the entire mall one night this week... peering into every shoe store and shoe section of other stores that could be found. It took an hour or two, I don't know. And it was pointless. I found nothing. This always happens when I shop alone. There is absolutely nothing I like or can afford or know would be good on me. When I don't bring a girl with me to show me what to buy, I am clueless. I like to be well-informed and make the right purchase, finding the best deal and picking out the items that will be useful and not embarrassing to wear. But I'm a guy and I don't know any of that. So I end up wasting hours of my time hemming and hawing and ending up with nothing.
However! Later, I decided to try again at a shoe store in the suburbs, but the key this time... was that I was shopping on a totally full bladder. I mean really full. I had to race like a peehorse so bad my eyes were yellow.
Ladies and gentlemen, I walked out of that store with 3 pairs of awesome shoes in under 5 minutes.
5 minutes!!
I'm never shopping on an empty bladder again. It was like a dream. There may have been a little potty-dancing, but all the torturous agonizing of which style and how much and what ifs were gone! Not even considered. And in the end, I actually had bought some items to show for it, this time. And they are great. All that wasted time is pointless and doesn't help me end up with anything better than if I spent no time deciding.
And that's how I discovered the key to life. The secret of the universe. God's eternal plan.
Make all decisions on a full bladder.
That's my new motto. My mantra. Grocery shopping? In and out in 15 minutes. Work project? I got it finished in an hour without even asking the team. Dating? Skip the talking and kiss me or I'm out.
Seriously. What world problem wouldn't be fixed by a full bladder? I recommend you all try it before you knock it. (And don't knock it too hard, or I may have a little accident.)
Posted by heydomsar
2007-05-25
go back | random brainstorm | go forth
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The Collected Wisdom of Angela Chase - 2009-02-15
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In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. - 2008-10-04
