sleeping straight through
I knew I could sleep in the next day, so I stayed up late, reading, surfing, until about 3 or so. Maybe 4. Then I wake up and the clock says 6:39 and I jump out of bed frantic. I slept all day long and I was going to miss a meeting that night and I wasted the entire day and so on ... I get going, through the bathroom routine and it took me a good half hour to realize that the clock had read 6:39am.
How can anyone's bioclock get that messed up? It was still morning, not evening. I had barely slept a wink and hadn't noticed. Of course, I went back to bed and proceeded to sleep the entire day away, in earnest.
Not to get all metaphysical, or melancholical, or mountain-out-of-a-mole-hilly, but I seem to be sleeping life away, and I wish I could wake up and realize that it was AM where I thought it was PM. Feels like I'm sliding past my life too quickly, without accomplishing what I'd like to. Mid-twenties. Quarter of a century. One third of my life, probably. And what is there to show for it? I'm not whining, I like my life. I'm a very happy person. But I could have done- I could be doing more. It's not even loneliness. I'm lonely, yes. But I get by on lots of friends. A girl will come along someday, true .. it just feels like I should be farther along on the track towards ... whatever. Maturity? Stability? Accomplishment. Accomplishments in the truth, in my relationships, in my career, in my family, in my debt, in my possessions, in my helping people, in my knowledge, in my ... life. Where I pictured myself by now. I think I wouldn't be so concerned if it seemed like things might pick up sometime soon. But none of those issues seem to be progressing at all. Each day I could work on it, I seem to be sleeping straight through.
Posted by heydomsar
2004-06-11
go back | random brainstorm | go forth
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