I killed a bigger Mastadon.
Guys basically hate other guys.
Speaking generally, at an empirical level, in the subconscious of every man is the primal hatred of other guys. It's territorial. It's competition. It's cave man.
We suppress all cave man tendencies because girls don't seem to like being clubbed over the head. But why do you think we play sports? Why do you think we watch sports? The competition innate in anything involving two guys and anything remotely ball-shaped stems from our competitive hatred for other guys. But further, the team rivalries and so on aren't nearly as entertaining as when two players get all mad and start to duke it out. That's when we perk up and start shouting. It's the raw competition without the ball, or the rules, just dominance and hatred pure and simple.
I'm not advocating this behavior. I think it's mindless and counterproductive .. but I'm not denying it's there. It's apparent in my life when I take a tally of my friends and people I can comfortably talk to. They are female. Sure, I have a bajillion guy friends too. But they're really just acquaintences that I spend all my time with. We'll hang out for hours. All day. All weekend. But there's almost no honest connections or relaxed exchanges ... whereas I can easily and comfortably chat with a female without subconsciously trying to compete with her. No underlying competition over who is cooler. Who is bigger. Who is faster. Who is better. Who has more. Who did more. I know more sports trivia. I built my own hot rod. I benched twice your weight. I've been with more women. I killed a bigger Mastadon. I can dominate you.
That's why I was all the more shocked to hear something about one of my guy friends. Out of all my guy relationships, this one is by far the most competitive. It's blatant and obvious to all passersby through the antagonism and confrontation in any of our discussions. I think I have yet to agree with a single opinion he's ever uttered; but it's like I have to disagree, on principle .. on the fact that "he's is wrong", "I am right". It just boils down to competition. Which boils down to the basic need for guys to be dominant. Which boils down to a basic dislike of other guys. And yet, despite this conflict, I found out that when he moved, he had the choice of going to San Francisco or to Chicago. And he chose Chicago because I was here.
Now obviously, I didn't hear this from his mouth. No guy would admit that to another guy, especially if they have the dynamic that we do. He told this to a girl. Of course. Guys can say things like that to a girl because there's no need to compete. But anyway .. any other friend with whom the competition is less blatant and I would have just been complimented. But this was outright shock.
This goes against our nature as males. It goes against our entire competitive dynamic. It goes against my history with other guys. And it was the best compliment I've had in a long time.
Posted by heydomsar
2004-07-01
go back | random brainstorm | go forth
Rachel Ray - 2009-05-03
The cold wind was the reason - 2009-03-02
The Collected Wisdom of Angela Chase - 2009-02-15
All's well that ends well. - 2009-01-07
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. - 2008-10-04
