i do. kind of.
my friend, dembrat, wrote about women keeping their names the other day and it got me thinking... i used to dislike my last name.. (sardines anyone?) but now i've embraced it. it represents a strong heritage and a unique culture that i can be proud of. the actual words aren't important. it's a symbol for my family and my lineage. we were named after the island we come from. and i like it.
and, from a guy's point of view... it is kind of a slap in the face if a woman doesn't want to take on your name. it's not some outdated chauvinistic tradition, it's something i would want to give her that we can share as one family, one flesh. if she doesn't want the symbol that represents me, does she want me? is it a pride issue for her? is she embarrassed about me? these are things that would bug me.
although i do consider myself somewhat enlightened, modern, and liberal. if it's a big thing for her, fine. she could keep her name. the fact that the rest of the world would laugh at me for that, doesn't bother me. the issues i would have would be between us. is there even an official us? what is the marriage license for, if not to bind us together in an offical, name-changing, legally-binding fashion. we might as well just be living together.
and what about kids? hyphenated? no way. they're getting my name. and when they wonder why mommy has some other name, the answer will be that she doesn't really want to be one of us.
;-P
Posted by heydomsar
2005-05-02
go back | random brainstorm | go forth
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