San Marco Shadows

San Marco Square after midnight rain

San Marco Lights

San Marco Square

Dark Thoughts

-- I need to work on looking people in the eyes in a way that feels right.

I know this comes natural for everyone else. But I can't seem to get it right. Tonight as I walked slowly in the rain, I crossed paths with people who pretended I wasn't there. And some who smiled or nodded politely. Some that gave sideways glances. A few looks down the nose or scrunched confused stares. And also a couple female attempts at connection.

I have no problems talking or interacting with females, but I always avert a connection. I lower my eyes. I find something wrong and I leave. Tonight I smiled and looked away. I also held a gaze unblinking until almost running her over. In each case, I'm sure something more was required of me. Interested or not, I know the socially-well-adjusted know the next step. But at least tonight has helped me see this problem.

A hotel on the Grand Canal

Grand Canal Lights

A hidden well in a dark corner

-- I need to learn how to bear complaining and whining and negativity with compassion and understanding and patience. I need to teach myself not to look down on other people with dispositions unlike mine.

Lush

Gateways to Alleyways

Alley Arch

Alleyway

Across the Grand Canal

Narrow Streets
(I had to walk sideways down some alleys)

-- I need to learn how to drive a stick shift without scratching other cars.

City Lights

Quiet Canals

Dark and alone