miscellany
-What�s your sign?
Yesterday I went to an ASL meeting to see my friend Star give her first presentation/talk with another one of our friends. The whole thing was so exciting. Her part especially was awesome because she signs like she�s dancing. She doesn�t mean to, I don�t think� she�s just a very squirmy, dancey, I-got-a-beat-in-my-head type of girl. So she signs with her whole body, expressively bouncing around in her chair. I�ve seen the dancey side of her, but I�ve never seen her signing. I�ve never seen so much signing in general. It was a little eerie, at first, the complete silence. Then a child of a deaf parent would shout or cry. Then more silence. But even through the silence, so much was happening. The speakers were so expressive and excited that it all felt interactive and contagiously exciting, even though I have no idea what they all were saying. It was like watching a big-budget action flick on mute. I�d like to someday be able to understand more so that it will seem like a big-budget action flick on mute with subtitles.
-Insatiable music-lust
So I blogged Pandora.com and by now you�ve all scurried off and created your own fantastic station and whittled it down into something amazing and interesting and fun? Yes? Well I wanna hear it. Do that �Send this station to a friend� thing for me, will ya? You can use heydomsar at yahoo dot com. {I�m trusting you with my personal email address there, so don�t abuse it.} Or you can send yourself the email and put the link in your blog to let everyone take a gander at your amazing musical taste. Or your list of favorite pop songs. Whatever. That�s fine too. This kind of thing can�t completely define you. So I�m not being all judgemental here, I just want a glimpse into your life and times and psyche and taste and I selfishly want to discover new stuff.
-Who�s driving this bandwagon?
So lately, on my buddy list, the topic of betrayal and lying friends has been bandied about. {bandied? yes. bandied.} So it�s weird that something like this would have happened to me this week. But it did, and I thought I�d join in the blogversation about it. For those of you who have been dealing with this problem yourself, what did you end up doing about it? I�m sort of at an impasse. I overheard some people in my life who were talking about me {never good} and it turned into this ranting session about my evils and basic character flaws� only the exaggeration just went insane. It started out with the kernel of truth, that is some problems I know I have and freely admit and am working on, but then the examples just got blown out of proportion and escalated until they were out-and-out lies. Now, I know about exaggeration. I do it too. But hopefully I don�t use it as a character assassination. This was just way too far.
So what I do when someone burns me deeply {and this is so rare because I really don�t sweat the small stuff} is that I severely pull away from them. Maybe it�s immature, but it�s how I work. I�m not confrontational about this kind of thing. So when someone I have a problem with is in the room, they don�t get any eye-contact. I don�t speak to them. I act as if they are not there. This is probably a stupid, childish way to act. But that�s me. Because after a long while, I get over it and slowly let them back in my life, or they get the hint and we never see each other again. Isn�t this better than going up to people and starting something? Well, it�s easier anyway.
But this time, because of current circumstances, these 2 people are an intricate part of my life and will not be separated anytime soon. I can�t help but pull away from them emotionally and our level of conversation has digressed to grunts and one-word responses on my end, but it can�t go on. We see each other almost daily.
So my options, as I see them, are bring it up and have this big fight about which parts of which conversations are lies {which I�m sure they wont see} or to just forgive and forget. Either way though, I know our relationships have changed. It�s such a disappointment. I used to pride myself on the fact that I get along with everybody. I�d hate to think that was no longer true. And it all feels so Judy Blume. Like some stupid teenage-girl drama. I�m so not drama. Thus the avoidance of the whole issue with them.
Posted by heydomsar
2005-12-08
go back | random brainstorm | go forth
Rachel Ray - 2009-05-03
The cold wind was the reason - 2009-03-02
The Collected Wisdom of Angela Chase - 2009-02-15
All's well that ends well. - 2009-01-07
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. - 2008-10-04
